I hope you’re doing well. Maybe you’ve just graduated high school, maybe you’re in the middle of college, maybe you got your first job, or maybe you’re in your mid forties with three kids and a dog. Regardless of what future stage in your life you may be in, I hope you’re happy. I hope you finally got out of quarantine and had that summer night drive with your friends. I hope you finally dyed your hair purple after talking about it for literally years. I hope you got on a plane and went to Europe so that you could drive on the left side of the road, see a bunch of canals, meet cool European guys with fancy accents, and eat all of the desserts one could ever dream of. I don’t know, I just hope that when someone asks you how you’re doing, you say you’re doing well and you actually mean it. I also hope you’ve stopped saying that you’re doing “good” because grammar is currently screaming.
If you do end up in Europe, send pics. This one's from Taiwan.
I feel like I have so many questions about where you are in your life and what the state of the world is like however many years in the future, but honestly, I feel like some of them I don’t want answered. Maybe it'll give me some sort of peace of mind to know what college I ended up going to, what job I ended up getting, or what my relationship status is in five years (we know BuzzFeed quizzes aren’t real), but I feel like those questions I want to answer for myself. Even though this is me talking to me, and there is no natural way that I can actually find out the answers to these questions, I think that given the opportunity to find out what my future holds, I probably wouldn't take that. I don't know, I feel like in this past year I’ve had the mantra of “everything happens for a reason” and how you're going to end up where you're supposed to be. I just feel like my future will come, and I just have to roll with the punches. And if I end up being totally shocked with the way my college admissions decisions come out, then so be it. Surprise! At least it’ll make a good YouTube video because we all know we watch those and compare ourselves to those Harvard admits. That was a way too long explanation of how there are some questions about the future that I don’t really want answered because I want to find out for myself.
But there are a few questions that I want the answers to. For example, do we ever come out of quarantine? Will there ever be a day when I can get out of bed, go to the bus, and go to school within six feet of other people? If the answer is no, well, it's fine, online school is great!!! That was sarcasm, but hopefully we don’t run into technical difficulties every six hours like we did in the spring. Also, will TikTok ever actually get banned?
There's also some more serious questions I have about the state of the world, like whether everything just goes downhill from here and whether people are just going to get more divided. If the answer is yes, then that's really disheartening, but I really do hope the answer is no. We really need some positive change here.
I guess I’m writing this letter because I just kind of wanted some advice. I feel like right now in high school we’re all so focused on the future. I feel like we're all so caught up in college apps and internships, and we all just want to pack up and go to college and be independent and have that freedom. But then, what happens when you do have that freedom? Do you continue to live for the future or do you have the time of your life? To me, college appears as both the possible best time of my life but also a middle ground of sorts between high school and living under someone else's roof and the working world and having complete independence. I think that a lot of us hype college up so much that we’re bound to be disappointed, but college could quite possibly be the best thing to ever happen to us thus far in our lives . I’m just excited for what that stage of my life will be like, and I feel like even if it’s not as perfect or wonderful as my expectations, I’m still going to be happy with that increased freedom and moving onto that next chapter of my life.
When I'm actually in college, I can just go out and buy these. Wait, where do they even sell them?
While we’re at the whole “my future worries” segment, I might as well tell you what’s been going on recently so you can reminisce on your high school days. I’m currently (still) sitting in quarantine, and I spend my time blogging, binge-reading books, and cringing through bad romance movies. I’m the most Virgo you’ve ever seen. Standardized tests are terrifying. I’ve been craving ice cream for six months. I have a very slight clue of what I want to do with my life. I still think John Ambrose McClaren deserves better.
You know, it’d be really funny if you were reading this ten years later and you’re just the complete opposite of me currently. I’d imagine you’d read all of these old blog posts and go like, “Wow, I was so uptight in high school.” No but really, that’d be hilarious. I picture myself in ten years as being this really put together career woman, but if you’re vibing in Hawaii, I’m down with that too. Hop into the past and send me some Dole Whip while you’re at it. Or just, you know, take me with you because Hawaii sounds like a great place to visit.
For real, though, I hope you’re happy with where you are. I’m not going to get all sappy and heartfelt, but know that regardless of what you might perceive your success or life as, 2020 you will always be proud of you. Wait, that sounds kind of vain. It’s not, I promise. I just want you to know that you should be proud of yourself.
Well, that’s it for me. See you, uh, whenever? I don’t really have a save the date on that, given that I have no idea when you’re even supposed to read this, but see you soon. No RSVP needed.
With love,
Caroline (in 2020)
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