“Happy Birthday to me *cha, cha, cha* / Happy Birthday to me *cha, cha, cha* / Happy Birthday to Caroline / Happy Birthday to me *cha, cha, cha*”
So if you didn’t get the hint from that self-centered intro, September is my birth month (BIG Virgo energy ya feel). I turned the big 1 6 this year, and it feels like nothing but also everything has changed. Kind of an exaggeration, but here are some of my thoughts on that good ol’ sweet sixteen.
First, let’s talk about growing up in general. I feel like there’s a general desire among young people to want to grow up. This isn’t a bad thing, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like people, probably 18 and under, want to grow up, become independent, and stand on their own two feet. This could be as little as a six-year-old not wanting to hold their mom’s hand when crossing the street to as big as a high schooler working after school to be able to support themselves more independently after they graduate. I guess a lot of people (me included) want to be treated as an adult and not like they’re little, and they also want to have more freedom and not have to rely on others as much. I think for me this desire to grow up is because I’m young for my grade, which is something that I used to feel “cool” for, but now I’m a little less happy about it. I definitely still do love celebrating my birthday in the fall (and being a Virgo), but I get FOMO because my friends all have their licenses and are getting jobs. It’s like I’m behind in a way, which makes me want to feel and act a little more “grown up”. Whoops. Just gotta do a little more living in the present.
Pic from Hong Kong because I'm determined to use all the pictures from this trip. Taken when I was 14, which is kind of weird to think about because that was only two years ago.
Ok, now time to talk about the whole turning 16 shebang. Now that I’m 16, I don’t look any different. It’s not like I had a magical glow-up within 24 hours just because my age is a different number. I feel like I'm 12. I probably still look 12. However, I think there’s something pretty cool about being 16. In my mind, it’s the first of the three big age milestones you hit when you’re young, the next two being 18 and 21. A lot of the people in those coming-of-age teen movies are 16, with the sweet sixteen parties and getting a car on your sixteenth birthday, though those are two things that definitely won’t be happening (because I’m not a party person and because I don’t get my license until spring break 2021). Oh and because there's a pandemic? Hello.
I feel like I’ve been waiting to turn 16 because you come off as a lot older when you say you’re 16 as opposed to 15. Do you? Unsure. But I think the biggest two factors that I was waiting for when I turned 16 were that I could get a job and that I was that much closer to getting my license and having that independence. You can also donate blood at 16, which is very cool, and you can also get married, which I can assure you will not be happening. Give me a decade or so.
Going back to the whole job and car thing, though. Summer 2019 I was really psyched to turn 16 and be able to make money for myself. COVID is now laughing because those job prospects are lil (more like a lot) more risky. I guess I just wanted to have more independence and not have to rely on my parents for rides or money when I go shopping. My parents always tell me I’m frugal, but I’m pretty sure it’s a habit I developed because whenever I’m spending money, whether that be online or out with friends, it’s not my own -- it’s money that my parents gave me. Yes, I know that in ten years I’ll be wanting so badly to go back to the times when I didn’t have to pay rent or buy my own groceries, but I just wanted money of my own so I didn’t have to bother my parents. Also, hi Jenny if you're reading this. I know you said that our parents offer because they want to but like ahhhhh money. Scary stuff. That message goes out to you too, mom. Money is scary.
In addition to these paid jobs, a lot of internships and summer opportunities for high schoolers require you to be 16 by a certain date in your sophomore year, and since I turn 16 the fall of my junior year, I wasn’t able to apply for many of these opportunities for summer 2020, which is just a bummer. I got a lot of really cool opportunities this summer that I am very much thankful for though, so I guess you could call it a blessing in disguise.
The driving thing is the same -- I want to hang out with my friends, but a lot of them live far away from me and my parents have to work, so I feel bad asking them for rides; if I got my license, I could drive myself and meet up with them. This also goes for school and volleyball because I live relatively far away from my school, and when I have volleyball practice (which in the summer/fall is every weekday) or need to stay after school, I feel like it’s a big hassle for my parents to spend hours each day driving me to and from school. They say that they like driving me because they won’t be able to do it when I’m off in college (similar to the whole money thing), but I’d like to save them the time in traffic, especially since my mom sometimes has to take off work early to pick me up (but not anymore because there is a *pandemic*). I just feel bad, you know, and I feel like those two things will take some of the stress off all of us.
When I get my license, I can drive myself to get sunset vids like these
If you’re wondering why my birthday post is so weirdly melancholy, I’m asking myself the same thing. So let’s talk about another part about birthdays that’s a little happier: the day itself. I’ve always really liked my birthday because you get so much love and appreciation from everyone during those 24 hours, and it’s like a day that’s solely yours (except if you share a birthday). People wish you happy birthday in the hallway (until this year hah), and people leave you really sweet messages on your Facebook page or Instagram. I also love how these people include those that you haven’t talked to in a while. I don’t talk to some people anymore because we’ve just drifted, but many of our few conversations each year are us wishing each other happy birthday, and it’s really nice to get to hear from them again. It’s just in general a very happy day (unless you have a test, because then you are ~stressed~) that I look forward to. And you get cake. We love cake. I ate so much cake. I also had ice cream after craving it for literally six months, so big plus 😎 Even though the pandemic made things a little different and every stay still feels the same, I love birthdays. My birthday was still really nice this year -- it felt kind of like any old day because I had school and had a few meetings and did not leave the house, but it felt like life treated me a bit better today. There were little things here and there that made my day really fun. Can we talk about how Love Island came out with the one episode I was hoping for this entire season on my birthday? That's some birthday luck if I ever saw it.
Hope you guys enjoyed this? I don’t really know what you’d get from reading this post, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on birthdays, growing up, and turning 16.
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